Well Community members sometimes tell us that in the larger community, they feel invisible. This is sad evidence of one of the greatest harms of serious mental health conditions: They rob people of being truly seen. So often, the symptoms of their diseases create barriers that make it hard for them to be known as more than their illnesses and to experience the blessings of connections with others.
Taking the time to truly see someone living with a mental illness—to view him or her as a whole, multifaceted person rather than a stereotype—can be one of the most meaningful gifts you can give, not only during the Christmas season but all year long.
Be curious and listen.
Truly seeing others requires learning about them as people. Take a posture of curiosity and ask questions about what they like and what’s important to them. The more you get to know them, the more you’ll be able to view them not through the lens of their illnesses but as individuals, each with their own interests, preferences and personalities.
Celebrate their strengths and interests.
Every person has unique gifts, and those dealing with mental illnesses are no exception. Some Well Community members, for example, are talented artists, while others are skilled in music and others are gifted listeners. As you learn what makes an individual unique, look for ways to celebrate their strengths and take interest in the things that matter to them—whether it’s asking them to lend their voice when you go Christmas caroling or watching their favorite sports team with them.
Use person-first language.
The way we talk about someone’s diagnosis is an important factor in showing respect for that individual. By using person-first language (for example, saying that someone lives with bipolar disorder rather than that he or she is bipolar), we can convey that a person’s identity isn’t defined by an illness.
Be open to receiving.
We all want to be able to provide something of value to others as it affirms that we, ourselves, are valuable. So, one particularly powerful way to recognize another person’s dignity is being willing to receive something from them. This could be a word of advice, a listening ear or help getting ready for a party—anything that enables them to give of themselves.
Invest time.
Time is a common factor in all of these tips as it’s central to getting to know others well enough to truly see them. It involves things like sharing meals and going for walks that, over the long haul, build relationships and communicate their worth. Giving the gift of seeing is an ongoing investment in their dignity—and often, it’s an investment in new friendships as well.
Volunteering at the Well Community is a great way to get to know individuals living with serious mental illnesses and give them the gift of being truly seen. Click here to learn more about opportunities to serve.